Everybody Poops

Don't worry, this entry is not about the poop that winds up in the toilet - it's about poops in the mind. You know, the thoughts that are sometimes spoken, and as they come out we know we need to wipe our mouths and the faces of those around us and flush away the offense. I've been having these mind poops for years.

I remember when I was 16 and worked at a music store I made a comment to a gentleman at work that essentially boiled down to, you are old and senile and I am better than you. I thought I was just being truthful and nice - that is, until the words were crossing my lips. I could hear how snarky I sounded as I was speaking. I wanted to shut my mouth, I wanted to turn and walk away, but for some unknown reason I kept talking. I guess it was because my mind was telling me the thoughts were okay, so why wouldn't the words be. He promptly hit me on the crown of my head with a CD and walked away. I never saw it coming.

I said many things over the years I wish I could have taken back or never said. The words, "Leave me alone!", "I don't have time.", and "Wow, that really doesn't look right on you." come to mind. I'm not sure how I would feel if I were really left alone, and I have regretted not spending time with the people I love who needed me, and sometimes people need the confidence to move on from a certain look rather than a brash insult.

How often have I told people, "I don't like you." just because in my head I was being true to my feelings, only to wonder about the impact of those words as I watched the persons face turn into a quizzical hurt contortion of flesh. No one has been spared from my mind poops; not the young, nor old, nor family, nor strangers. All have been used as porcelain thrones to the waste that I have spewed. It was so bad that people at work used to treat my little musings like a sport; just waiting for me to drop those little stinkers. Once, I told a boss of mine, as she was moving her belongings to another desk, "Oh, a blonde with books?" Another subordinate helping out laughed himself silly. I guess as I was saying it, I gave the stink face.

As I have gotten older, I find that I speak a lot less than I used to and listen more, but the thoughts are still there. I fear I may have mind constipation and will need a laxative or fiber (aka The National Enquirer or a dictionary); it makes me worry about the next mind poop I have, because I know it's really gonna hurt.

At least I can take comfort in the fact that I am not alone, I know that everybody poops. Would you share your poops with me in the comments section below?

Tomorrow, Be A Bitch. . .

PS, Daniel Tosh on Tosh.0 uses his mind poops regarding videos to make a living, maybe I can try this too. . . :)