Normal to EatPB

"What's normal anyway?", I hate those people. Those people who ARE normal that question what normal IS. We all know what normal is. We learn what normal is, and I don't mean from tv, or movies, but from life. We know for instance, that it's normal to eat pb (peanut butter), which are my initials by the way, eatpb, and they are decidedly not normal.

 

Normal people have MAYBE 3 big crises a lifetime, I have one every year just about, and I am in my 30's. So if you are not normal, like I am not normal, we can talk. I'll work my way backwards through the sands of time and we can dissect my abnormality together. Would you like that? One a day for my 30 plus years of existence :) (and yes, I know it's abnormal to like the stupid smilie face at my age)

 

Today, today we will talk about me resigning from my job forcibly.

 

Pain was all I knew for almost 4 months. Sharp pain, dull pain, surprising pain, tearful pain, the pain one feels when your intestines are fused to your uterus from an infection you contracted after a miscarriage. I wonder how common that is? The pain one feels when her fibroids are degenerating due to a pregnancy that didn't "take". Finally, corrective surgery has put me make on the path to recovery hopefully, and my return to work was greeted with a "You will need to resign by the 31st of January."

 

Why, because of the short-term disability company who is missing paperwork. I said, "But I had surgery, clearly there was a problem.", but no one cares. There is a bottom line to be met. Meanwhile, my fragile recently established career is over.

I was a secretary when I began, an NYU premed dropout working at a small non-for profit. Then I went to swim with sharks at a large financial company. I was with the biggest and the best, and although I felt a sense of pride, I knew I wanted to be more than a secretary. I wanted that prestige that came along with being a "big shot", and the money would have been nice too :)

I went back to school and got my business degree working 50 hour work weeks and going to school nights and weekends. . . I graduated with a gpa of 3.98 from a private college. I felt like I could do anything! But I struggled to break out of the pigeon hole of being a secretary. it took me years to start consulting as a project manager, and then years later to finally have a home as an AVP in Finance.

 

I worked hard, paying my dues included tolerating being smacked on the bottom, watching silently as clients were taken to strip clubs and indulged in illegal drug use with co-workers and superiors, and allowing others to take credit for my work. I didn't care about those things, I just wanted to get to where I was going. I needed this for me, for my family. . .

 

I make more than any of my family members, and have always been the financial backbone. I have given and loaned about as much as I've kept for myself. I don't own a home, I no longer own a car, and soon I will once again be on the prowl for a job - my career stalled, my body healing, my marriage failing, my baby dead. . .

 

There is so much more to this, but we are just getting to know eachother ;)

 

In this economy, losing one's job is quite common, I'll admit, but may I remind you - A tragedy for every year. It will be worth the mundane to stick around for some of the more juicer tidbits, I promise.

 

Tomorrow, a planned miscarriage. . .